I decided to be brave and actually post a picture this time. Please excuse the glaring white bra (how does that happen in pictures??) and remember that in am, in fact, not showing. The bulge you see is purely the bag of salt and vinegar chips I ate just before snapping the photo. I'm not proud of this, but hey, baby wanted salt. Please also disregard the crazed look in my eyes. I have no explanation for this :)The past two weeks have been relatively long ones. I've been super busy at work worrying about kids who are suicidal, which seems to have been a recent epidemic. If I'm not worrying about them, I'm worrying about three students (two are brothers) whose moms have cancer. One of those moms passed away last Friday, so after an all day workshop on Suicide, I went to this student's mom's calling hours. It was terribly sad, and it's time like these when I realize how important the role of "parent" is. She's only 13 :(
I also had a student dislocate a shoulder. This happened to be one of my very favorite kids, and watching her writhe around in pain was NOT easy! I was all weepy while I sat with her in the nurse's office, and then when they took her away in an ambulance, I had to really hold back. This was probably the most intense "Wait! I don't think I'm ready for this, can I back out??" moments that I've had so far. She's fine, and I've since regained my sanity, but wow...
Honestly, since I've told my co-workers and more of my friends, I've gotten much more excited. I'm still terrified, and I have frequent "Oh crap, this is really happening!" moments, but this is an adventure that I'm very, very happy to be embarking on.
How far along? 14 weeks today.
Best part of these 2 weeks: We finally went to look at some cribs and that was exciting. And then today the Sunshine Committee at school left a congrats card and a "My First Animal Sounds" book in my mailbox. I also was surprised by a congrats card from our main office secretary when I got home. Totally made my whole day!
How do I feel? Pretty good! I have a weird sore throat/cold going on, but aside from that, I'm finally getting some energy back and I'm feeling good!
Cravings/Aversions: I've been wanting bagels, pickles (I know-- so cliche) and grapefruit. Aversions? Most meats, and a whole variety of random smells.
What I miss: Still lunch meat. This answer might not change anytime soon. I've also missed wine and margaritas big time lately. Most of you know I don't typically drink at all, but I could have used a couple after all the craziness at school.
What I'm looking forward to: Strangely, as much as I'm horrified by the thought of seeing the scale's number go up, I'm excited to start to "show." I don't know when this will happen, but I think it'll be fun to actually "look" pregnant instead of just bloated. (Of course, I say this now...)
Weekly Wisdom: Even if I don't drink a lot of water at night, I'll still have to pee so bad that the pain will actually wake me up several times a night.
7 comments:
Totally random, but I love the fireplace. I still need to see pictures of your place.
I don't drink much but lately I have become friendly with Malibu/Diet or Bacardi Raz...better not get addicted now....need to wait for the true insanity to start. I also have become fond of flavored iced coffee with 4 splenda---oh the sugar rush. Enough about me!!! But can you have that when you are pregnant (the iced coffee)
That was very nice of your staff do that for you, it lets you know that they truly enjoy you there. Sorry to hear about the emotionally draining situations, that is a lot to deal with. It is hard for us in the position of giving advice to separate ourselves, but at times I think it is ok for the students to see that we too are human and have feelings. Best of luck with things.
Thanks for your bravery in posting a picture. I know you were nervous about posting. If you want, I can post the picture of me with my peeling burn in my bikini...next to that anyone or thing will look HOT!!!!-anonymous!!
Fun crib shopping!! Keep in mind that you have to bend over this thing to pick up a 20+lb kid, ugh my back! Glad your getting some energy back, those first 12 weeks knocked me OUT.
The scale is your friend, if it doesn't go up you don't get bragging rights in the "I gained xxx lbs when pregnant (that number can be anything and you'll still be able to brag about it.)
The "What have I done" moments will probably continue right through labor. Mine went away once the baby arrived and he didn't suck (well I guess he did literally suck, that is really all they do.)
I'm still not fully adjusted to you being pregnant. I have to keep reminding myself that I didn't make it up because I want more friends with kids. I looked for mom friend want ads on craigslist tonight, pathetic! (I didn't find anything)
OK Kristeen...maybe I am nuts but I do NOT see a "glaring white bra" and I have my glasses on!! I DO see you showing a little and it is NOT the bag of chips you ate. Maybe it's because I am your Mom...but I do see a difference! The look on your face is pure joy and excitement in my book! Love you!
I agree with your mom, I don't see the white bra or the Salt & Vinegar chips, either! I DO think that I see the beginnings of a baby belly, though! You look great, and I'm glad to hear that you're feeling well. If you're really craving cold cuts, heat them up in a sandwich (think grilled turkey and cheese or something like that), or heat the cold cuts up by themselves in a frying pan and then let them cool -- I did that a few times when I was pregnant.
As for the "what have I done??" moments, I totally agree with Becky. In fact, I waited about 3 weeks after finding out I was pregnant to tell my mom b/c I knew that I would start crying b/c I was so freaked out by the thought of ACTUALLY HAVING a child (as compared to that romantic notion of having a child ...). I didn't want my mom to think I was regretting the decision or something! When I did tell her, I cried, of course, and told her that I was having these "What have I done?!" moments -- and, to my relief, she told me that she had those, too, with each of her pregnancies (hey, how could she have thought that about ME??) and that it is totally normal and I shouldn't stress myself out about it. That made me feel so much better, I was feeling like an unfit mother before I'd actually given birth!
Sorry, had to delete my post and edit it, there were approximately 300 typos b/c I was typing really fast to finish the post before Ben's crying in his crib woke Sam up, too!
I still don't know where Lukas came from. I just look at him and feel way too young to be someone's mother. I think he is Becky's or something and I am just watching him. It is weird.
Sad about that girl's mom. :(
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