Today marks an insignificant, but none-the-less fun milestone: I am 35 weeks into this pregnancy, and I only have 35 days left to go until my due date. It just feels surreal to me at this point. Yes, we've gone through each milestone, and we're definitely aware of the reality that this will end with us bringing home a little human being for whom we'll be responsible for for the next 18+ years, but does it feel real? Nope!
From the beginning, I thought it would happen-- that day when it all became real. At first I thought that it would hit me at 7 weeks when we got to see the heartbeat on a sonogram. Nope!
Then, I figured at 12 weeks once our chance of miscarriage was less significant. Nope!
Maybe when I felt the baby move for the first time? Nuh uh.
Well then, it HAD to happen at 20 weeks when we got the sonogram that looked more like a baby and determined the gender... we left there still in denial.
Maybe when I started to show? When Brian felt the baby for the first time? When we could literally start to see the baby moving? Nope, nope, and -- you guessed it-- nope!
It's starting to sink in I guess. Physically I'm acutely aware that it's going to happen (thanks, achy back, crampy sides, giant legs and ankles, and 30lb tumor on the front of me...) but mentally I feel like it's all happening to someone else. One thing that helped was putting all the baby stuff away after the shower. Brian and I spent all Monday washing and putting away clothes, unpacking supplies and organizing the nursery. At some point we just looked at each other and had this moment where were like "Oh my God... this isn't just cute, it's functional. We're going to have to USE this stuff, and it's so SMALL!!"
Since that day, I've slipped back into my favorite pleasent little place: Denial :)
These are the stories of our journey as a family -- specifically those of our son, Carter Frederick, who joined us on November 1, 2009 and has provided a non-stop roller coaster ride of emotions and entertainment ever since. We hope his stories entertain you as much as us!
Carter Frederick Cool
3 comments:
immediately when annabelle was born, the nurses said, "see, wasn't it worth it?" honestly, i still didn't know at that point because it still wasn't REAL to me. can you believe that it wasn't real to me when she was born?! but shortly after, i realized that it was real and that it was definitely worth it, a thousand times worth it!
I understand that now it does not seem real...but Kristeen...when that child that you and Brian created is born..it will become such an unconditional part of your life that you will be in awe of him forever. I, as his grandmother will love and cherish him because he is a part of my child that I have loved unconditionally for 29 years...and will forever. Mom
As the mother of two children who were up at 4am today, I will tell you -- don't worry, it will be real soon enough. Enjoy the remaining days of denial!! :)
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