Happy Due Date to Me!

It's my due date!! Carter was 2 weeks and 5 days early, so in honor of my "due" date, I thought I'd just give an update on the past two weeks. We're just surviving-- these days have been filled with ups and downs... moments of bliss, and moments where I think I might be going insane. Lots of crying, lots of laughing, and lots of wondering when I'll feel "normal" again, when any sort of pattern or consistency will return to our lives. I'm just trying to take it day by day and to get to know this new little person in my life. While I don't have any really good stories at this point, I'll highlight some of the highs and lows we've experienced thus far.

High: Watching Brian function as a father. He's indescribably good at this gig. He gets up in the middle of the night, most of the time with no complaints, to change Carter before I feed him. He holds him like a football and walks around having conversations with him. He seems to have a sixth sense that he uses to just know when I could use some "me time" and takes Carter for as long as I need him to. I've said it before, but I'll say it again-- Brian is absolutely my saving grace. He has been for a long time... but now more than ever. I've never been so in love with anyone in my life.

Low: Breastfeeding. Who knew it would be this incredibly hard?? I knew it would hurt pretty bad, and I was prepared for that. But the constant feedings, the incessant wondering if he's getting enough sustenance, the feelings of "I'll never get away for more than 2 hours every again"... it's brutal. I'm committed to doing this for Carter, but I'll never again judge a mother who tries and then switches to formula feeding. It's WORK.

High: Walks. We've taken Carter out for two walks, and it's been super nice to spend time as a family but get out of the house. I tend to go stir crazy having to stay in the house, and that's what my life has become recently, so I really look forward to nice weather when Brian is home, so we can go for a walk and just get some fresh air.

Low: Effin' hormones!! I know that this is normal, and I know there's really nothing I can do about it, but I also didn't expect this hormonal shift to last as long as it has. I can't get through a day, it seems, without a ridiculous crying jag. I cry when Carter cries, when I think about my "old life," when Brian is too nice, and for absolutely no reason at all. It's maddening, and it makes me question my sanity on a daily basis. Great!

High: My ankles!! My waist!! My wrists!! My wedding bands fit again, I can put my own socks on, it's not a sweat-breaking workout to put pants on, I can wear more than one pair of shoes, and I can roll over in bed. I can even sleep on my stomach! It's been so great to see my body go back to being somewhat normal. I gained 35 pounds total during pregnancy, and I'm down to being only 6 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight. It's great to watch the weight fall off! I have a LONG way to go in terms of muscle tone and where I'd like to be ideally, but for now I'll take the progress I've made!