Through all the hormonal, emotional chaos I've been muddling my way through, I keep myself sane by remembering the good things, and reminding myself of what I have to be thankful for. One particularly emotional night, Brian and I decided to watch a movie while Carter napped in his swing. I'll probably forget the movie before too long, but I'll honestly never forget the image that is permanently burned into my mind from that night.We'd paused the movie so I could feed Carter and Brian could return a phone call. When he was nearly done eating, Brian took Carter upstairs for a diaper change, and I could hear him singing a song about poopy diapers to the tune of some familiar song I can't remember now. I thought it was cute, and yet again thanked God for Brian. He came downstairs and handed Carter to me to keep feeding, while he got out his guitar.
So there I sat, on the couch with our son, watching my husband sit on the floor with his guitar working on writing a song for Carter. And it just hit me-- this is the image of "family" I've had burned in my mind for a long time. When I used to think about what we'd be like as a family someday, this was it. It literally warmed my heart (and of course made me cry like a little girl.) I guess it reminded me of some of the really good times Dan and I had with our family when we were little, before all the drama started. Usually this kind of memory makes me sad considering my relationship with my father now. Fortunately, I've never been so secure in our relationship, and have no fears of Brian leaving.
It was absolutely one of my life's defining moments-- so simple, but literally a dream come true.
6 comments:
Thanks for sharing that. Its a very nice mental picture. I see Gretta is warming up to Carter too!
I could not read this without crying Kristeen. I feel so content in my heart knowing that you have found this wonderful feeling. Those were such good days back then and I am so happy that out of everything..you have the ability to feel that contentment that we all shared as a family back then. Those are the memories that I cherish because they WERE good. love you, Mom
I have always told the girls...it is the little things in life that will bring you the most joy. And we can't grown and learn without struggle. You look wonderful..I think Carter is wearing the little booties I gave him? xo
Could you believe if a psychic told you ten years ago that you would know it was true love when your husband sang a song about poop to your son?
Brian and Julie should make a CD since I guess poop songs are popular these days.
I am so glad to hear that you are feeling fully supported during this time because I can imagine it can be overwhelming.
Hugs---Elaine
I love this picture -- how sweet! I'm also glad that you're able to step-back from the chaos (physical, mental and emotional!) to see the beauty in the little moments you and Brian are sharing with your new family.
hmmm, that's a great idea! a cd of poop songs. i only have 2, but i am sure brian will come up with some more. we both play guitar. kristeen could sing, and matt could play a little tambourine. perhaps we could record some pooping and grunting sounds from the babies and add them in as background percussion.
whoa, i am getting way too into this:)
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